catchin' up!

It's pretty amazing to me that it's been well over a year since I last posted an entry on here...I don't know what happened. Many of my blogging friends stopped blogging and all of a sudden, it lost some of its energy for me. Goodness knows I've had PLENTY to blog about!

So I guess it's time to catch up on the past year and a half of my life....

God has been doing some C-R-A-Z-Y stuff in my life over the past few months. And it has sent me from excitement to frustration to peace to anger to joy to confusion to fear. It has been probably the craziest roller coaster of a season I've ever experienced before in my life. And when my life feels like it's all over the place and I can seem to wrap my mind around what is happening, I write...so here is what I wrote about what God has been doing lately...and it starts about six years ago...

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In the fall of 2005, I was hired on as the female youth minister at Harpeth Community Church. One of the passions that God really began to stir and develop in my life was for the teen girls to whom I was ministering. Over the first couple of years, I started learning something very important: at the heart of every issue and every struggle that these girls were dealing with was the same core problem. They did not have a clear sense of their worth and their identity in Jesus. It always went back to that. So I began to really pour into the girls with that very thing at the forefront of my mind. In 2007, I started writing a Bible Study for teen girls that was all about speaking to this “core problem”.

In October 2008, I met Jenna Monforte who lives outside of Atlanta, GA. Jenna and I hit it off like none other and quickly realized that our hearts were totally in tune with one another on so many levels. In January 2009, she asked if I would like to come down to help with a teen girls event she was putting together called InsideOut. I led a small group and also spoke at one of the main sessions at the event. I will never forget that first InsideOut weekend. There was this thing in me that just came so alive around that event, something that went crazy in my spirit! The weekend was truly amazing and Jenna and I started dreaming of what it might look like if we “packaged” the event and took it to other communities and other churches. We knew that God had given us a fire and a passion for reaching young women and speaking truth into their lives. I started praying like crazy that He would put other women in our lives who not only shared the vision, but were willing to invest their lives into it.

Simultaneously, God had really been breaking my heart for what was happening outside my little world. I particularly was broken over the issue of human trafficking. There were few things that broke my heart more than the thought of children and girls and women being traded and used as sex slaves. He also started to develop in me a real passion for the nations and a desire to be involved in missions and reaching those who were not being reached around the world. I spent a month in Uganda, Africa in November 2009 and my experience there only intensified that stirring.

We had over 80 girls attend the first Franklin InsideOut in January 2010, and the girls really seemed to love and get a lot out of the weekend. We did another InsideOut in February 2010 in Georgia, but with the busy-ness of our own respective ministries, Jenna and I were not really able to explore the possibilities of doing more with InsideOut. However, I think there’s still always been something in mine and Jenna’s hearts that have never stopped dreaming about that possibility.

In early summer 2010, I met a girl named Ashley Morales while doing some volunteer flood relief in East Nashville. Ashley worked with teenagers through YoungLife, and she told me she had been dreaming about putting together a teen girls weekend event that she could take to Hispanic communities. Her heart behind the vision was everything that we had envisioned for InsideOut, and we had the same heart-to-heart connection that I had with Jenna when I first met her. We exchanged info, talked about getting together, but never actually did.

Also, in the summer of 2010, I was invited by my friend Melanie to a girls event in Franklin called Girl Talk. I was amazed to find that Girl Talk was almost a spitting image of what we did with InsideOut. It also re-ignited that passion in me for InsideOut and all that we had dreamed for it.

The emcee for Girl Talk was Hetti-Marie Barroll. She was incredible, and I thought of how awesome it would be for her to be part of InsideOut that year, but honestly thought there was probably no way that I could get her. A week or so later, I was at my office job and got a text from some of my junior high girls. They said, “Do you remember Hetti-Marie from Believe? She is here at Harpeth with her kids for the summer movie day and she said she would come and do something for us any time we wanted it!” I could hardly believe it. It was like God was saying, “You want her? You got her!” So of course I told them to get her info, and when I got to the church office later that day, there was a note written on a napkin from Hetti-Marie with her phone number and e-mail, saying that she would be willing to come “talk to the girls” anytime.

In early fall, I spoke at an event at Franklin Christian Academy where they split up the guys and the girls. I soon found out that the other speaker coming was Monique Zackery, the founder of the Girl Talk event I had gone to in the spring! I got to meet Monique and we talked about getting together, but weren’t ever really able to connect.

In October 2010, I was at the Catalyst conference in Atlanta, and during a prayer after one specific session, I unexpectedly started feeling that can’t-breathe-heart-pounding-out-of-your-chest kind of feeling and I truly believe that God said to me “it’s time.” I didn’t know what it meant, but I sensed that He was saying it was time to MOVE on the things He had been stirring in my heart for the past couple of years. I knew that my life was about to take a massive turn.

I spent a few weeks praying and fasting and continued to be confirmed that God was calling me into a new season. I researched organizations that were working with sex trafficking victims and also started talking with Shawn and Linda Tyler, who have been leading a mission team in East Africa for almost 30 years. After much prayer and thought (and realizing that at some point, I was going to need to make a decision and move forward), in November 2010, I made the decision to move forward in working with the team in Mbale, Uganda.

There was definitely a part of me that started immediately mourning what I was going to be sacrificing by going. I realized that my dreams for InsideOut were going to have to be laid on the altar before God. I knew that I would be able to minister to the young girls in Uganda, but it wasn’t going to look the same. This was an extremely hard thing for me to lay down, but I knew I was going to have to.

Meanwhile, 2011 was approaching and plans were underway for what I believed was going to be my last InsideOut in Franklin. Hettie-Marie and I met for lunch on Oct. 19, and during the middle of our lunch, the door to the restaurant opened, and Monique Zackery walks in! She saw us, came over, and said “HEY, how do you guys know each other?!” Little did I know that Monique and Hetti-Marie were good friends!

Re-connecting with Monique that day reminded us about getting together, so on November 12, Monique and I met for lunch. We talked for almost three full hours and it was incredible to talk with someone who shares the same vision, same passion, and same heart. All of a sudden, I started realizing, “Wait, women like Ashley, Hetti-Marie, and Monique are who I have been PRAYING for two years to meet!” Monique shared her heart with me not only for teen girls but also her heart for the issue of human trafficking. I told her that I had also forever had a brokenness in my heart for that very issue. We also started planning on her (and her husband) speaking at InsideOut.

InsideOut Franklin quickly arrived and I was so excited about having Monique and Hetti-Marie involved in the event. We had about 60 girls come, and it was an amazing weekend. And after hearing some of the things the girls had to say hours (and days) after the event ended, it was obvious that GOD HAD MOVED and hearts had been changed. There were innumerable moments throughout the weekend where I felt that “jump in my spirit”, where I just felt like I was right in the middle of the zone of what I was created to do. I felt like I was experiencing God’s pleasure, and there’s nothing – NOTHING – like that.

In February, I spoke at a women’s event at the church, and even that morning with a demographic I didn’t typically speak to, I got that same “jump in my spirit”. After the event that morning, three women came up to me and said, “We have no idea why we’re coming to tell you this, but God has been laying so heavily on our hearts the idea of putting together a weekend event for women.” One of them said, “We know you’re leaving so there’s really no way for you to be involved in this, but for some reason, God was just telling me while you were speaking that we should come tell you.”

That was the final straw for me. There had been innumerable things happening over the previous weeks, and I couldn’t ignore it anymore. God was quite obviously trying to get my attention, so I just had to call a “time out” on everything. Why would these doors start opening for me NOW? Was this Satan trying to pull me away from what God was calling me to? Was God just waiting for me to fully surrender those things to Him so He could work and bless them? I was thrown for a total loop and had no idea what to do. I talked to a few very wise people in my life and they all agreed that the way things had been unfolding over the past few weeks were quite notable and encouraged me to explore them and be open to God steering me in a direction that I maybe hadn’t expected.

I immediately contacted Monique to see if she could get together. So on February 11, we met and I told her everything that had been going on. I asked if she had ever dreamed about Girl Talk being more than what it is right now. And I had no idea what was coming next.

Monique said she had actually been praying for months about what was next for this ministry. She told me about overseas teams in Ghana, Sudan, and the Ukraine who have been asking her to bring Girl Talk to them. She said she dreamed of taking Girl Talk to other communities in the states and using it to minister to girls who had been pulled out of sex trafficking.

Monique told me that a few weeks ago, a friend of theirs from New York had contacted her and told her about this girl that she needed to meet named Ashley Morales. And my jaw dropped. I said, “Ashley Morales that lives in Nashville?” I just couldn’t believe it. I told her that I had randomly met Ashley that previous summer working flood relief! It was getting pretty impossible to believe that all of our connections with one another were coincidental. Monique said that after meeting with her, she started thinking about how much better it would be for them to link arms and do this girls ministry together as opposed to building two separate ministries!

She had already been meeting with some consultants about the possibility of having a non-profit umbrella that would encompass Girl Talk, potentially Ashley’s Hispanic ministry, and then other things as well – including missions (taking Girl Talk overseas) and even the possibility of opening a home in the states for young women being brought out of sex trafficking.

Monique also mentioned that a publishing company in the potential that might have the potential for being a “backer” for this. She said that she had thought about putting together teen girls curriculum, including a Bible study that the girls could do with leaders from their church after the event. Once again, I could hardly believe my ears. I told Monique that three years ago, I started writing a Bible study for teen girls. It was just one thing after another.

I told Monique that I had come to this point where I felt like God was asking me to lay down those things that I had dreamed about. There is a “yes” in my heart for teen girls, a “yes” in my heart for teaching, a “yes” in my heart for music and worship, a “yes” in my heart for missions, and a “yes” in my heart for those who are victims of sex trafficking. She said she didn’t believe that God gives anyone multiple passions and gifts just to make them choose one. There is no reason that God can’t take every one of those things and weave them together in something that will allow me to say “yes” to every last one. He is orderly. He is creative.

The calling in my heart that I received in October to “go” was real. But looking back, what I clearly believed I’d heard God say at that moment was: “It’s time to move on the things that I’ve been stirring in your heart for years.” I automatically assumed that meant I was moving overseas. But is it possible that maybe I just wasn’t clearly seeing exactly what that calling was going to look like? Proverbs says that men will plan their lives, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. I feel like the call to “go” and to “move” were very real, but I believe that God is steering me in a direction that I completely did not expect and was certainly not seeking out.

I don’t know for sure what to do with all of this. But I know this: when God seems to be moving and orchestrating and stirring passions and weaving people into each other’s lives, it’s hard to imagine walking away from that! Not when you KNOW that it is those very things that make your spirit come alive. That is something that cannot be ignored and cannot be cast aside.

For a few weeks now, I have been continuing to pray and ponder, asking God to throw a boulder down on this thing if this is not His BEST for me. But there have just been continual confirmations in my spirit that I must pursue the things that God seems to be weaving together in front of me. I have no idea what this looks like a year or even 6 months from now, but it seems almost foolish for me to see God moving so evidently and not follow. So that is where I find myself. And who knows…it may be that two years from now, I will find myself living in Uganda doing the very thing I had originally thought. At the end of the day, I just want to be living and serving in the place where I can be MOST effective for the Kingdom in using what He has given me to its fullest extent. And so the journey continues…

looking back...

I've been thinking I needed to do some sort of wrap-up blog about Uganda (...and have been getting the hint from a few of you...). But I'll be honest, I've kinda been delaying because, well, I don't really know what to say.

It has proven to be harder than I expected to be back. It was weird...I went through this interesting progression: my first night back was just full of excitement for seeing people that I'd missed a lot and at the same time, I almost felt like the whole trip had just been a dream, like I'd never really left. Then Day 2 back in the states was just spent "enjoying" the modern comforts of home - like a hot shower and washing machine. But then by Day 3, that stuff had kinda worn off and it was back to life, back to reality. And to be honest, I just wanted to be back in that little village in the bush of western Uganda.

I would be sitting at my desk at the office and I would just have this endless stream of pictures running through my head of different places and people that I'd fallen in love with on the other side of the world, the people who had stolen my heart. And it was both sad because I miss them terribly and also kinda lonely, ya know? Like no one else could really go there in their head with me. Of course it's no fault of anyone else...it's just how it is. God had to remind me, though, that I was most definitely not alone. His heart beats harder for those people than mine ever will.

I cannot get them out of my mind. And I pray that I never will. They have changed my life. I don't know exactly what to do with that right now. There was this part of me that really wanted to be able to go on this trip and come back with a clear sense of direction - either "Africa is definitely where I'm called to be" or "My place is in the states". But as we know, God doesn't always work that way. And I didn't really come back with a strong sense of one or the other. So I'm going to keep seeking...and keep praying.

I do know this. I am more aware than ever of the desperate need of the people of Uganda. People are often commenting on how" Uganda gets all the hype", "that's where everyone goes", "it's a Christian country so there's not much need there", "we need them more than they need us", etc. But that simply isn't true. The people of Uganda are in desperate need. Yes, they need physical provision, but they are in desperate need of Jesus. There is a lot of darkness and a lot of spiritual warfare in that country. A lot of people who subscribe to Christianity, but know very little about God and have never opened a Bible.

I have also learned that moving to Africa is by no means a cop-out. That may sound crazy to you, but there are some who think that people go to Africa when they can't handle America any more. They think Africa is the "easy way out", as if it's easier to minister and to be close to God there. Again, this simply isn't true. It's just as easy, if not easier, to be distracted from God there. And by no means is it easier to minister there than in the states. There is a whole new set of distractions and struggles that you take on when you move to do ministry in Africa.

I learned an overwhelming amount during my time in Uganda. I still have much to process, much to pray about. Thank you so much to those of you who faithfully prayed and supported and encouraged me while I was there. Please continue to pray for my brother and sister - Matt and Amy - who will continue on in Uganda for the next two months. My heart is still with them there.

And when you get the chance, go to Uganda. You will be changed. :)

Since I had a really hard time uploading pictures to Blogger while I was there, I will leave you with a few of my faves from the trip.

This one's courtesy of Matt Walter...so glad he was there to take pics too!

These girls will always hold a special place in my heart, because they were the first children I really interacted with. They are the girls from the Remember Me orphanage in Mityana. My story from that day is here.

These were three of the first little girls we met in Nyamarwa.

Our first day with the Nyamarwa village children...a day I will definitely never forget.

a few of my favorites...(not that I have favorites...uhhh)

This is Mary. She is the daughter of one of the teachers at Kibbuse, Madam Olivia. Without a doubt one of the most precious little girls I have ever met.

These are the students at one of the primary schools in the Nyamarwa village. 75% of the population in Uganda is under 21...yep.

So we're on the bus on our way from Kampala to Mbale and I look in between the seats in front of us and see this. good grief.

This was one of the most complacent, well-behaved babies I've ever seen. Fell in love with her in a heartbeat.

"Chief" (operations manager at Kibbuse School) and his grandmother. This one is also coming courtesy of Matt Walter...and just might have my vote as the best one of the trip.

I will never forget the sight of their smiles or the sound of their laughs. I don't think there's anything like the children of Africa. They have my heart.

the final days...

Well…I’m writing this in the Amsterdam airport, so obviously I’m on my way home. But I didn’t get a chance to update over the past few days, so I’ll try to keep this short and sweet…(TRY being the key word…)

NOV 24

I spent most of the morning and afternoon working on a newsletter for the parents, students, and graduation ceremony. Tonight we had the “Last Supper” celebration, which is an annual event that they have a couple of nights prior to graduation. They have a meal for the faculty, students, and “graduands” (as they call them here). They girls are all invited to wear a “gomezi” that they’ve made in their tailoring class. Gomezi are these traditional African dresses that have super high-cut shoulders and huge sashes that tie in a big knot in front. And the fancier the fabric, the better. Amy and I found out that the girls also wanted us to wear a gomezi tonight, and of course we couldn’t refuse! When we came out of Amy’s room with those things on, everyone had a crazy fit. And boy when we got a look at ourselves in the mirror, there was definitely a good amount of laughter. Of course to us, we looked completely ridiculous…and here’s why:

…but not to a Ugandan. To a Ugandan, these dresses are a thing of beauty. (Who says “beauty” isn’t defined by your culture?!)

Meanwhile the guys had gotten all dressed up nice and when everyone was ready, the guys all lined up in two lines and the girls all came out of the house and walked through the lines while everyone sang. Adorable…

We had a big meal and then there was a program that included songs from the choir, songs and messages from the graduands, messages from the faculty, and awards given to each graduand. The program didn’t end until around 11:00, but it was so great to be a part of it!

NOV 25

Graduation Preparation Day!

I basically worked on the newsletter and on making a video for graduation all morning and all afternoon. The students and teachers have been working all day on food preparations for tomorrow. They are expecting a lot of people and they serve lunch after the ceremony, so there was much to prepare. I cannot fathom the amount of potatoes and bananas that I have seen today.

WARNING VEGETARIANS: Don’t read the next two paragraphs.

Another interesting thing I saw was a butchered cow out in the field being destroyed by some of the guys for tomorrow’s lunch. Now it’s one thing to see meat hanging in a shop. It’s a whole other thing seeing the full body of a dead cow laying on the ground with men all around it pulling out meat and intestines…and poop. Yes, I actually watched a guy stick half his arm up in there and pull out cow dung. Wonder how someone ends up with that job...

I also did not see but did HEAR the death of more than one chicken today…it truly is a horrible noise. Literally sounds like screams. Anyway, made for a disconcerting yet equally interesting afternoon.

We were working until after midnight printing programs and ironing flags. We later found out that there were some teachers and staff who never went to bed because they were working on food preparation alllll night long. Tomorrow will be quite a production!

NOV 26

Graduation Day!

Today started with quite a stressful morning trying to get everything ready for the day. The ceremony was supposed to start at 10:00 and we still had quite a few “graduands” putting on their caps and gown at 10:30.

Interesting African culture note: Their concept of time is so very different than ours. When someone says, “Let’s meet at 8:00”, it could mean 7:30 or it could mean 9:00, depending on when all of the parties arrive. So when they said graduation was supposed to start at 10:00, it really wasn’t a big deal that we didn’t start until 11:30 because most people didn’t arrive until around noon and some people didn’t even show up until 2:00. It’s so bizarre to me.

By the time everyone got there, I’d say there were a good 250 – 300 people there. The service literally went from 11:30 – 3:30…longest graduation ceremony I’ve ever been too! There was a ton of singing, a ton of talking, and I loved how the certificate presentation went. It wasn’t like in the states where they call a name, someone walks across a stage, and a few people clap (maybe with a whistle or two). No…when they called a graduate’s name, they would start playing music, the student would literally DANCE to the front, receive their certificate, then people would come give the student gifts and hugs. It was amazing.

When the ceremony ended, we all walked back up to the courtyard for lunch. There were massive amounts of food prepared. Of course Matt, Amy, and I had to eat in the house with all of the “important” people, which we always have to do. To be honest, we often just wish we could just eat with everyone else outside, but culture is culture. And in this culture, the “mizungus” are always honored guests, so they always have to be in the seats of honor.

The party then moved back down to the tents. They had rented a sound system and deejay and boy was it a par-tay…I think the whole village showed up! There was dancing for a good 4-5 hours straight…so much fun. There was a little girl and a little boy who each grabbed one of my hands and we spent at least half an hour dancing, with them never once letting go of my hands. I taught them how to twirl and they loved it…one of those special moments that I’ll never forget.

I skyped in to the Robinson Thanksgiving feast tonight and got to speak to the Robinsons, the Minchews AND cousin Ross! It was short but sweet because my connection was lost after a few minutes, but so wonderful to see their faces!

I started packing tonight…and started getting really sad about it.

NOV 27

Today was a day of wrapping things up. This morning we had the Final Assemble with the first and second year students. Each of the teachers had a chance to say some final words to the students and they gave Matt, Amy and me an opportunity to talk. I unexpectedly got really emotional and don’t know if I’ve had to ever fight that hard to keep it together (usually I just let the tears flow, but they’re not super emotional like that in this culture, so I fought like crazy to hold myself together so as to not freak them all out). But it was a great opportunity to tell the students how proud I was of them that they are working so hard for a better life and then get to encourage the teachers and thank them for investing in the lives of the youth of Uganda, then to be able to publicly acknowledge Reverend James, Bob and Brenda for the amazing sacrifices they make for Kibbuse, the students, and the staff. We sang the national anthem one last time, and I couldn’t contain the tears. Then all the mizungus taught them “We Wish You A Merry Christmas”…can’t say I’ve ever sung that song under the hot sun before until today.

This afternoon Matt, Amy and I went out and played some with the village kids (I needed one more good quality afternoon with them). We brought out some candy, played with tennis balls, took pictures (which they LOVE).... then I sat down and about 10 kids came and sat around me, and for about 15 minutes, we just sang songs. We sang some together, they sang some for me, I taught them “Deep and Wide” and “Father Abraham”...another magical moment to add to the books. These children have my heart.

Timothy taught me how to make what has become my favorite African food item – chapati. It’s like this tortilla-type bread thing…delish. And now I can hopefully make it for people back home.

After dinner, we went out to the courtyard area and hung out with some of the teachers and the students that are still here. We taught them “Mighty to Save” and “Hosanna” and we looked at graduation pictures and videos. We had such a great time. It’s amazing how connected you can grow to people after only a short month…especially people with whom it can be very difficult to communicate.

Matt, Amy, and I went on a late-night walk in the field behind the school and had another time of just airing out some of our frustrations and struggles and had a chance to just do some debriefing about the month and praying together. It was a sweet night. I’m not ready to go home.

NOV 28

Travel day. If I have learned anything, it is that traveling in this country is NOT easy. So we went into today expecting a very long day. With Matt, Reverend, and Brenda sharing the back seat of the truck and Amy and me sharing the passenger seat, we didn’t have the most comfortable drive, but what do you expect…it’s Uganda. We had to make what felt like a hundred different stops for various errands on the way, go to meet Reverend’s daughter, Norah, in Mityana, and then took a taxi from there to Kampala (while the truck has some repairs done…).

We ate at an amazing Thai restaurant in Kampala for dinner and then headed to bed…traveling days can really wear you out!

NOV 29

Well…this is it. Last day in country. I’m so not ready for this to be over. In worship during church this morning, I started getting really emotional. We’d be singing and my mind would start replaying an image from this past month and my eyes would immediately well up with tears and I’d have to stop singing and re-gain control. Then I’d start singing and it would happen all over again. I literally thought I was going to have to leave at one point. There’s just so much to think about, so much to process, so much I’ve grown to love, so much I’m going to miss…

After church, Matt, Amy, and I headed to the Garden City mall for some final shopping. We did a sufficient amount of damage…I finished Christmas shopping which I’m very happy about!

We had dinner at a delicious Indian restaurant then had a taxi come pick us up and take us to the airport in Entebbe. It was so special to have everyone there to send me off. I had a very tearful goodbye…so hard to leave.

These people have become so precious to me, and the new level of relationship that I have with Matt and Amy is truly priceless. They are more like brother and sister to me now than ever before. What an amazing thing to have been able to experience this month with them.

Now I’m sitting on the airplane on my way to Amsterdam then on to Detroit and Nashville. I must honestly say that I’m excited to go home and see everyone, but I’m not ready to leave. It doesn’t seem like that long ago that I was sitting in this same position on the plane, awaiting the month ahead with so much anticipation. I had no idea what it would entail. But this month truly has been more than I could have ever asked or imagined. I have learned an unbelievable amount. My worldview has been shattered. My position on missions has been changed. My view of Africans ahs been altered while my love for them has grown exponentially. There’s so much to process and so much to think about. But I have much to bring home.

Now that I have seen, I am responsible.

never a dull moment...

Nov 23

Well I suspected that today would be a short, boring entry because it was just a travel day, but I'm starting to learn that I should never expect an uneventful day here. Our driver from Kampala picked Matt, Amy, and me up at around 8:00 this morning. When we arrived in Jinja we requested him to give us a little time at a craft market that we heard was really good there. In only about 45 minutes time we did a sufficient amount of damage at the market...stocked up on some Christmas gifts!

We arrived in Kampala and met Rev James at what is becoming one of our favorite places to eat in Uganda - Javas! You can get all kinds of things there that you can't typically find like cheese and cilantro and real ketchup and most importantly...Diet Coke! So we had a delicious lunch then our driver took us to the bust "station" where we barely missed the first bus so we had to start a second bus which meant sitting on the bus in the heat for an hour until it was completely full. And by that , I mean they don't take off until every single seat in that thing is taken. We did, however make our own excitement...Matt and I ate our first grasshopper (we couldn't convince Amy to do it).

It was fairly awful...the taste wasn't bad. It was more...mmm...the texture. I could actually feel the different parts of it as I crunched it and it was a bit difficult to swallow. But how could you come to Africa and not eat at least one insect, right?!

Anyway, once the bus was totally packed, we took off (around 3:30). What was awesome was that when we hit the edge of town about 10 minutes later, we got stopped at the police check point and after almost TWO hours of sitting on that hot bus crammed full with people, we had to get a new driver (long story as to why...) but we didn't leave Kampla until after 5:00. It was a long, uncomfortable ride to Mubende. It was dark by the time we got there and when we arrived at around 7:45, there was this massive group of merchants standing outside the bus door putting baskets of food in front of our faces trying to get us to buy. It was pretty chaotic. We had to take "boda-bodas" (motorcycles) to another gas station...first experience on a "boda"...was really pretty fun! At the station, Reverend had to work at convincing a local driver to give us a ride to nearby Kikumuro and he allowed us to join the other in the car, which made EIGHT of us in a 6-seater car. After yet another really uncomfortable 45-minute ride, we finally arrived in Kikumuro where Bob met us in the truck.

He took us the rest of the way to Nyamarwa. We had a slight delay on the road because a semi truck had flipped completely over and that kind of accident causes major issues on roads as tiny as these.

We arrived at Kibbuse and had a super late dinner at 10:00. We hadn't eaten since 1:00 so we were a bit hungry.

What a day...left Mbale a little after 8:00 AM and didn't arrive in Nyamarwa until 14 hours, 5 different types transportation, and one grasshopper later. We should sleep fairly well tonight...

much to say about mbale

I guess I should maybe backtrack a little here and explain why we have chosen to spend a few days back with the Mbale team. During our first whirlwind visit here, we learned a GREAT deal about how much we don’t know and about how much we need to be under/alongside some people who have experience on the field and can help us in decision making, etc. The Mbale Mission Team is truly an answer to prayer. I am not 100% sure what our long-term relationship looks like with them, but I know that there is much that we are excited about (as is our church’s leadership team) as far as their church planting “system” goes. What’s crazy is that they have been praying for other churches to come alongside them as they seek to plant churches across this country and seek to claim this country for God. Their goal is to have at least one church planted in every district of Uganda (I think there are 81 districts). The disctrict in which we are looking to possibly get involved is right in the middle of an area of Uganda where they have no churches. It’s like we were meant to be together! J

Anyway, Matt, Amy, and I (along with our leadership team) determined that it would be extremely beneficial for us to spend more time with the team here in Mbale and just soak up every bit of information that we possibly could about missions, about their projects, about the culture. And boy have we ever been doing that…

NOV 20

Today was yet another day PACKED full of information! My brain is completely fried. I mean, I would have it no other way, but wow…I’m tired.

The day started out with the women’s prayer breakfast at 6:30 at a nearby hotel. All of the women on the Mbale Mission Team meet once a week to spend an hour in prayer. One of the things I have learned beyond a shadow of the doubt is that if I were to decide to do long-term missions, I would absolutely have to do it with a team. There’s just no way that I could do it alone. You have to have some people around you who are coming from the same framework you’re coming from who can support you, encourage you, pray for you, and just have fun with you. The Mbale Mission team spends a lot of time together and are an amazing support system for each other. You just have to have it…and they would all agree with that statement.

After the prayer meeting, the women have breakfast together and then we headed up to MTI for more training! This morning we were given a timeline of the Mbale Mission Team’s history and how all of the programs came to be. Very interesting stuff. It’s amazing how LONG-term their vision is for this place. They have committed that they will go as far and as long as God calls them. They say that they don’t want to limit God with their dreams.

After lunch, we learned about the structure of the Mbale Mission Team and how they function as a group. It’s interesting how they are such a huge ministry and are functioning so well in many areas, but they are still in DESPERATE need – need of money but also a real need for people! Because of the ever-expanding ministry, they are in constant need of more people and more support. As we were discussing all of the various ministries, I asked if they have much going on as far as youth or children’s ministry goes. I know that a HUGE part of the population in this country is under the age of 20, so the need to reach the youth of this country is huge. Interestingly, they don’t have much going on for the youth in all of their programs, and they said that it is definitely toward the top of their priority list. They are in need of someone to come over and begin some sort of youth program within their ministry…hmmmm…

We also had a very condensed version of their “African Friends and Money Matters” training. It is crazy, crazy how polar opposite our ideas of money are from Africans. It’s been good to actually live and interact with people for a few weeks before this training, because it’s helping us to really see and experience the truths of what we are learning.

When I got back to the Tylers, I had an amazing treat awaiting me – a sandwich. I can’t remember the last time I had a sandwich. It’s one of the food items that I didn’t realize I’d miss until I didn’t have it. So I piled that thing crazy high with lettuce (which we never have), tomato, cheese (which we also never have), avocado…and savored every single bite.

I spent most of the rest of the night working on our presentation for tomorrow night. I kinda feel like I’m back in college and working on some big group project, but it really was cool to obtain a lot of information on our own as opposed to being “lectured” on it.

My brain is literally worn out.

NOV 21

I forgot to mention that I had prepared to take a shower last night, but as I was reaching in to the shower trying to adjust the water (because we have HOT WATER HERE!!!), I saw out of the corner of my eye, about 4 inches from my face on the shower curtain, a roach that was probably about 2/3 the size of my palm. That thing crawled over the top of the shower curtain and into the shower…I didn’t end up taking a shower last night. J So that was first thing this morning.

Today we got to be part of the 9^th Annual MTI (Messiah Theological Institute) Graduation. MTI was birthed out of a need for leadership training. As the team here continues to plant churches all over Uganda (as well as Kenya and Sudan), they must continually be training up leaders to preach and teach. Many courses are designed to equip leaders of church communities (not limited by denomination or tradition) to facilitate the spiritual development of the people around them. It is an ever-growing institution. Last year, the school offered 52 different courses, and the number continues to grow each year.

It really is amazing what all is happening with MTI and even more amazing realizing that my home church in Texas has invested so much into that school. To have the opportunity to see the fruits of that investment has been so awesome.

This morning there were 26 Ugandans and Kenyans who graduated from MTI. These are people who will go back to their homes and their districts to be pastors, teachers, church leaders, and even church planters. The ceremony was really fun to be a part of, and then they served lunch afterward.

Amy and Matt came over to the Tyler’s (where I’m staying) after lunch and we put the final touches on our MTI Presentation. Tonight many members of the team came over for dinner and we grilled out. People brought over all kinds of amazing dishes, but I have to say that my favorite was the Snickerdoodle and Oatmeal No-bake cookies. J

After dinner, we pulled out the guitar and songbooks and sat around the living and sang worship songs. I can’t remember the last time I did that…it was so great. I just love seeing the cohesiveness and the relationships that the team members have with one another…it really feels like family.

After singing, Matt, Amy and I did our presentation on MTI. I will not bore you with what the presentation was about, but thankfully it didn’t appear to bore everyone else too much, so that was a relief! We enjoyed some more hanging out afterward, and by the time everyone was out the door, we were ready to CRASH!

Nov 22

Today we had the opportunity to go with the Tylers for a visit to one of the village churches – one of the hundreds that they have been part of planting.

We were surprised to arrive and see how nice the church was – brick building, cement floors, ELECTRICITY…it was a very nice set-up. Of course, we soon found out that it’s probably theionly church plant that has electricity and one of only four or five of their churches that actually has the money to have a keyboard. Apparently, the church was built by one of the most wealthy men in that area. This man owns a few businesses and is responsible for the building and all of the nice things that the church has. This, of course, means that he has all of the power in that church. He calls all the shots and stood in the back during the whole service and basically regulated everything. You could tell very easily that he was the big man in charge.

Sean later told us that they do not allow him to teach or preach at the church because he has two wives. I guess I haven’t mentioned this yet, but polygamy is a huge issue in Uganda. This goes back to their roots as a country, but it is a huge problem and one of the major issues that the church deals with. But one of the rules that the Mbale church planting team has is that anyone in the church who currently practices polygamy is not allowed to hold any sort of leadership role in that church at all.

We were once again given the seats of honor at the front of the church and treated with all sorts of honor and respect. They asked us to each say a few words to the church. Afterward, they all surrounded us (particuarlly all the little kids) and greeted us and thanked us for coming. The little kids had written notes to give each of us. Here’s what one of mine said:

if that doesn't just make you melt...

After lunch, we were escorted to the “head honchos” home where we were served lunch. Today I had something new…bamboo cooked with banana leaves. It was actually pretty tasty. After lunch, we drove back to Mbale and had a little time to debrief and get some more of the history behind the church we had visited. Really interesting stuff.

Tonight we went to the Community Bible Study school that the Mbale team attends each Sunday night. It is a Bible Study made up of missionaries from all over the area. It was really cool to meet people who had come from literally all over the world to serve God in Uganda. In that room we had Australia, England, Palestine and the United States all represented. It made for a really interesting Bible Study discussion. I am just so thankful that the Mbale team is intentionally doing things to feed themselves while they're on the field. It’s so vital to their own spiritual health and the health of their ministries.

We had an amazing meal after the study and then headed home to pack. It’s back to Nyamarwa tomorrow…

soooo much to learn....

I guess I should maybe backtrack a little here and explain why we have chosen to spend a few days back with the Mbale team. During our first whirlwind visit here, we learned a GREAT deal about how much we don’t know and about how much we need to be under/alongside some people who have experience on the field and can help us in decision making, etc. The Mbale Mission Team is truly an answer to prayer. I am not 100% sure what our long-term relationship looks like with them, but I know that there is much that we are excited about (as is our church’s leadership team) as far as their church planting “system” goes. What’s crazy is that they have been praying for other churches to come alongside them as they seek to plant churches across this country and seek to claim this country for God. Their goal is to have at least one church planted in every district of Uganda (I think there are 81 districts). The disctrict in which we are looking to possibly get involved is right in the middle of an area of Uganda where they have no churches. It’s like we were meant to be together! J

Anyway, Matt, Amy, and I (along with our leadership team) determined that it would be extremely beneficial for us to spend more time with the team here in Mbale and just soak up every bit of information that we possibly could about missions, about planting churches, about their projects, about the culture. And boy have we ever been doing that…

NOV 20

Today was yet another day PACKED full of information! My brain is completely fried. I would have it no other way, but wow…I’m tired.

The day started out with the women’s prayer breakfast at 6:30 at a nearby hotel. All of the women on the Mbale Mission Team meet once a week to spend an hour in prayer. One of the things I have learned beyond a shadow of the doubt is that if I were to decide to do long-term missions, I would absolutely have to do it with a team. There’s just no way that I could do it alone. You have to have some people around you who are coming from the same framework you’re coming from who can support you, encourage you, pray for you, and just have fun with you. The Mbale Mission team spends a lot of time together and are an amazing support system for each other. You just have to have it…and they would all agree with that statement.

After the prayer meeting, the women have breakfast together and then we headed up to MTI for more training! This morning we were given a timeline of the Mbale Mission Team’s history and how all of the programs came to be. Very interesting stuff. It’s amazing how LONG-term their vision is for this place. They have committed that they will go as far and as long as God calls them. They say that they don’t want to limit God with their dreams.

After lunch, we learned about the structure of the Mbale Mission Team and how they function as a group. It’s interesting how they are such a huge ministry and are functioning so well in many areas, but they are still in DESPERATE need – need of money but also a real need for people! Because of the ever-expanding ministry, they are in constant need of more people and more support. As we were discussing all of the various ministries, I asked if they have much going on as far as youth or children’s ministry goes. I know that a HUGE part of the population in this country is under the age of 20, so the need to reach the youth of this country is huge. Interestingly, they don’t have much going on for the youth in all of their programs, and they said that it is definitely toward the top of their priority list. They are in need of someone to come over and begin some sort of youth program within their ministry…hmmmm…

We also had a very condensed version of their “African Friends and Money Matters” training. It is crazy, crazy how polar opposite our ideas of money are from Africans. A few examples:

1. Money is to be spent before friends or relatives ask to borrow it.
2. If something is not actively being used, it is considered available.
3. Budgeting, in a formal sense, is not an accepted way of handling personal finances.
4. A network of friend is a network of resources.
5. A loan is eligible to be repaid when the creditor's need becomes greater than the debtor's need.

And the list goes on from there...the handout received listed 62 different observations about African cultural values and provides a counter Western value. Very interesting stuff...and stuff we have already been experiencing as truth here. It’s been good to actually live and interact with people for a few weeks before this training, because it’s helping us to really see and experience the truths of these statements.

After training, Matt, Amy, and I spent some time working on our presentation for our MTI Research. When I got back to the Tylers, I had an amazing treat awaiting me – a sandwich. I can’t remember the last time I had a sandwich. It’s one of the food items that I didn’t realize I’d miss until I didn’t have it. So I piled that thing crazy high with lettuce (which we never have), tomato, cheese (which we also never have), avocado…and savored every single bite.

I spent most of the rest of the night working on our presentation for tomorrow night. I kinda feel like I’m back in college and working on some big group project, but it really was cool to obtain a lot of information on our own as opposed to being “lectured” on it.

My brain is literally worn out.

a bit of a shock to the system...

NOV 19

Today was a challenging, exciting, inspiring, overwhelming…and in the end, a hard day. My entire view of Africa and those who live here has been shaken to the core. I have to share something that may make some people sad…maybe even a little upset. But I’m sharing what I am starting to believe more and more while being here…and it’s something that I’ve now heard straight from the mouth of Americans who have lived in this area for almost 30 years. It’s hard to argue with that.

I have somewhat been subscribing to this idea of “I Need Africa More Than Africa Needs Me”. Some westerners (which used to include myself) may believe that although Africans may not have the material possessions that we have, they have the things that really matter – joy, peace, faith, selflessness, community. And we may start to think that in reality, we need the things that they have more than they need the things that we have. Today I learned that my perspective of what they “have” is not entirely accurate.

We have basically been bombarded with information today from the Mbale team. First of all, Matt, Amy, and I have been asked to do a bit of a research project ourselves about the Messiah Theological Institute here, and we will be giving a presentation to the Mbale team at the end of our time here. So we started working some on that project almost immediately upon our arrival to MTI this morning.

Later this afternoon I sat through a cultural orientation which Shawn Tyler and Philip Sharo gave us. Philip has been here 11 years and Shawn has been here 28 years…they know their stuff. It completely knocked my socks off. There is entirely too much information for me to include here, but the thing that has really altered my thinking about Africans as a whole is that when we look at them, we really only see their external actions. But behind every action is a value and behind every value is a truth. Many mission teams come in and simply try to change the actions but never change the core truths of a society. That’s why they say that in Africa, Christianity is a mile wide and an inch thick. There are many who claim to be Christians, but there is very little depth to their faith and their beliefs (…sound familiar?).

Anyway, to know the reasons behind the way people act, we must first determine what they value and eventually get down to what they believe is true. And the values and truths of Africans are very different than the values and truths of Americans, particularly American Christians. At their very core, we learned that the basic truth under which Africans operate is that life is cyclical. It’s way too long to explain here, but what it boils down to is that they believe that what happens on earth is determined by the spiritual powers of the “living dead”…or basically spirits of people who have died. This is why witchcraft is such a huge issue in Africa and it has a major impact on what they value and on how they live. It’s a long explanation as to how these connect, but because of this core truth, a couple of their major core values are respect and the “appearance” of relationship. They live by this idea of “give respect and get something back”. So their actions are driven by this idea…this is why you see such amazing hospitality, welcoming words, people kneeling, people appearing to live at peace with each other, people appearing to love and care for one another. To us Americans, it appears that they are living such godly, selfless lives (and of course some of them genuinely are), but it’s because we are looking at them through our grid of values and truth. For many Africans, these actions are driven by the belief that when you respect others, you will get something back or you will be blessed.

I asked if Philip and Shawn were basically saying that what we see is a façade and in reality, there are selfish motives behind these things that appear so good and godly from the outside. The sad answer to this question was “yes”. And there are two reasons why I tend to believe this is true:

1. This is coming from people who have been here for almost 30 years.

2. It has been hard for me to understand how Africans could truly be displaying the fruits of the spirit in such abundance when in actuality, many of these people don’t actually HAVE the Holy Spirit, don’t know anything about God, haven’t surrendered their lives to them, and don’t have any sort of personal relationship with Him.

So Philip made this very poignant statement: “How could you expect to come into a country where there is VERY little God but expect to see TRUE joy, peace, and selflessness? You cannot truly have those things apart from God. So what you see is the appearance of joy and peace and selflessness, but the reality is that often, it is only the APPEARANCE of these things, and in the end, they are marked by selfish motivations.”

It makes sense…I may struggle with having what appears to me is the joy and patience and selflessness of the people here. But the reality is that I know Jesus and I know the freedom and the LIFE that comes from being in relationship with Him. Many, MANY, people in this country do not have that. They are simply living in a culture that tells them to live at peace with people, respect people so that you can get something in return, and make sure that whatever you do, you protect the appearance of your relationship with others.

NOW I MUST CLARIFY SOMETHING HERE: I don’t want it to sound as if I’m saying all Africans are just selfish and none of their external actions are pure. Many of them have true joy and love that comes from the Spirit. Many of them have a deep and vibrant faith. And many of them are truly genuine people in love with the Lord. I’m just saying we can’t look at them from our American “grid” and take everything at face value. Maybe our African brothers and sisters are in much greater need than we have realized (…or maybe it’s just more than what I realized). Maybe they need what we have (and by that, I mean Jesus) much more than we need what they have. By no means does this mean that we are superior…it simply means that they need Jesus.

It’s been a somewhat sad realization for me…like someone just popped my little happy balloon. But it is the tough reality. And one that I’m very thankful to be learning.

During the late afternoon, we attended the youth gathering which Shawn facilitates each week at the Mbale Church. When they say “youth” here, it can mean anyone from 13 years old to 28 years old. So apparently, I’m still a “youth” here! J Shawn had Matt, Amy, and I sit in front and told the kids to ask us anything and everything that they want to ask. And as Matt said, they weren’t exactly throwing us softballs. They asked about marriage and dating and sex and they asked about the problems that youth in America are facing and what advice we would give them as youth of Uganda…really great questions.

We had dinner tonight with two of the Ugandan missionaries that work with the Mbale team – James and Noeli Luchivya. Noeli prepared an amazing meal for us then they walked us through their “steps” program on the process of planting a church in Uganda. They basically have this organization that is an umbrella under which all of the church plants fall called the New Testament Churches of Christ. And basically when someone wants to plant a church under that umbrella, they have a distinct list of steps that must be followed before they consider it an established church. It includes multiple seminars and teachings on the basics of faith and what it means to be a follower of Christ and also involves the preacher/teacher of that congregation having biblical training at MTI. The process is a really great one, and makes sure that all of the churches are unified in their core beliefs.

James and Noeli are amazing…they are an awesome picture of two people who have been trained up and discipled by this mission team and are now going out and making disciples all over this country. They are basically in charge of the entire rural development program now. Awesome story.

I’m learning more and more about how much I don’t know...