Tuesday, March 3, 2009

what to do...

okay I know, I know...I have been a horrible blogger. I never thought it would happen to me, but I had to take a blog hiatus (not by choice, by the way...). The reason for this has honestly been as simple as: no time. Which is sad...but I've had some fairly time-consuming events to plan recently and also have taken on the job of youth ministry administrative assistant. And let me tell you...that's kinda been kicking my tail. I knew it would be a lot of work...but wow...

Anyway, I am all over the place tonight. What are you supposed to do when you feel like your passions and your dreams and your desires are all over the map?! (literally...).

Two weekends ago, I traveled with 4 other members of our church youth leadership team and we did some leadership training with a church in the Atlanta area. It is a fairly new church and the youth ministry is in its early stages of development. The weekend was amazing. Meeting with other people who share our passion for God and for teenagers was so energizing and so inspirational. And actually having the opportunity to talk to these leaders about how God has been moving in our youth group and what we have learned through our experiences was just such an honor...and a humbling thing at the same time. So after that weekend was over, I was dreaming about what it would be like for our youth leadership team to travel around talking to and training youth leaders of new church plants about the things God is doing and what He has taught us - encouraging them and speaking life into them. How cool would that be...

Then this past weekend, I went back to the same church to help out and speak at a big girls weekend. There were over 90 teenage girls who came from all over the community to this event specifically designed to honor them and tell them that they are beautiful and that they are worthy. I can't express how passionate I get about that subject. I actually had the chance to speak at one of the sessions...and later that day, I thought: "I could do this for forever. I could just spend the rest of my days traveling around and telling teenage girls how amazing they are and how beautiful they are and how they are known and treasured by Majesty." So that was my dream...as of a couple of days ago.

And then tonight. I went to this super cool event at Lipscomb called Tokens. It is this thing that they put on every couple of months that is like this theology lecture/cultural analysis/ old-time radio show/conversation/concert that is recorded and played over the radio. Every show has a different theme. Tonight's theme: justice. Man...I don't really know what to say. I just can't shake this overwhelming desire that I have to go to the places where injustice is reigning...and fight it. I have been wrestling with this desire for too long. Tonight they talked about the difference between charity/mercy and justice. I BURN with a desire to see justice. Plus I'm just so stinkin' tired of comfort. I'm so tired...of America. There. I said it. Right or wrong, that's what I feel. I'm just being real. So tonight that's my dream...

So many desires. So many dreams...ugh. what to do...

4 comments:

melissa said...

i have thoughts on this. (over a meal.)
and though my dreams look different, i. feel. you.

Jenna Monforte said...

Can we become siamese twins and travel together? I like the IJM pic. At one point I gave serious thought into being a social worker over seas w/ them. That's why I have it on my wall.

lhall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lhall said...

i feel you too. i had to leave a comment and say that what i realized about america after being gone for awhile is how sad it is.....that it really ISN'T comfortable. that may be perception, and that might be what we all tell ourselves because we are surrounded by consumerism and luxury----and that is exactly what makes it UNcomfortable. it's the lack of "need" that makes me most sad. most people don't KNOW how in need they really are over here. going to a slower paced lifestyle was refreshing. going to a place where they didn't know Jesus was challenging...and also refreshing. i think faith can be cliche here...which made it ALL the more valuable over there.

BUT, i realized how much america needs. my heart broke for my own country while i was away. the range of wealth to poverty in our own backyard breaks my heart---and is need of justice.

i'd like to have this conversation over a meal, too. :) too bad we don't have that opportunity anymore...hopefully i summerized it in a comprehendable way!